today Im feeling like...

- it feels darn good to be back in greensboro (no offense to pboro)

-  i love seeing friends that i haven't seen in a while 

- i think I'm going to be okay

- reading someone's journal is a window into their soul and there is soooo much to be learned from other's experiences (right now it's the unabridged journals of sylvia plath)

- grad school might not be out of my reach

- it's nice to talk to friendly strangers 

...So what are you feeling like today?

short thoughts: life as we know it

getting a haircut

sewing a button on

going to the dentist

washing socks

getting married

polishing floors

pulling weeds

having children

scratching an itch

changing a tire

death.

short thoughts

I step into a room brimming with people and eyes vibrant with expression. Eyes don't see me scanning right past my silhouette. Recoiling in one cursory backwards motion I remove myself from the room. The four walls stand and the people laugh and banter the same way they did before I ever walked in. I light a cigarette and begin the trudge homeward, my heels clicking on the pavement as if to keep time. This is what invisible feels like.

short thoughts

rays break in between my curtains 

making my eyes squint without my permission.

the weight is tactile

heavy and pressing down on my shoulders like dreams of getting buried alive.

I hear him tell me how happy he is 

again and again.

still unreachable heights, unsaid words, they all hang there, I can see them like lifeless clothes soon to be occupied by thankless wearers.

it is not right.

cheers to the new year

New years does bring with it some good thoughts and a certain degree of trepidation as well. When thinking about the new year, I can't help but reflect on the past year and make my new resolutions taking into account the things that did not work for me last year.  The past year has been a difficult one to say the least... pain and desperation were feelings all to familiar to me.  But I do believe that I have learned a great many lessons and also gained a well earned and realistic outlook on life.  Even though a new calendar year is just a human created system for time, it is a great tool for the individual self and an almost fictional rebirth that is given to everyone. So take advantage of this rebirth and leave what pain you can in the past.  Do what you believe is right and what fulfills the longings of your heart. If you are doing these things I believe goodness and blessings will find you. Cheers to 2009! 

rae cassidy klagstad

she is one my new favorites! Rae Cassidy's voice is angelic, dreamlike, and unique. Her vocals are so strong and certain notes she hits have a very vintage quality. Give her a listen and you'll see what I'm talking about. The bad news however is that she doesn't have any cds out, which bums me out to no end. In the meantime check out her myspace page: rae cassidy

some things getting me through the season

as it gets increasingly colder outside I am finding there are special "winter things" that I enjoy doing, wearing, seeing etc. 

 Cheesy as it may be... here are a few:

* coffee, coffee, and coffee 

* my new emerald green coat

* my knit hats and my favorite plaid hat (you know the one!)

* knowing its cold outside makes it easier to sit in classes

* the little white christmas tree in my living room

* not even having to consider putting on a swimsuit

* wax bottle art

* Sophie, my bunny (a.k.a snooks)

* having time to rest and think during breaks lets me get inspired to write.

* harness boots

* getting food network's "12 days of cookies" email newsletters