what a noble profession. what... a noble profession?

As I sat at lunch with my friends today, we talked about our futures (dare I say a popular topic these days) and what we would like to do for the rest of our lives.  One friend wants to work for fair trade businesses. Another is going to teach English to immigrant children. There was also a peace corps volunteer mixed in with a side of missionary work to developing countries.  So, apparently I keep incredible company.  But where does all of that leave me? I piped in " My goal is to be a lowly cultural commentary writer and columnist. "  Which leads me to the question on my mind now: is it okay to devote one's life to a job that doesn't necessarily change lives or benefit the world in a huge and noble way?  Sure, I may get the opportunity to inspire people with my writing. But for the most part, people will  read my articles (I hope) laugh a little to themselves, be entertained or interested for a few minutes and then put the paper down and move on with their life.  Don't get me wrong I would love to be a prize winning journalist someday or get an incredible opportunity to travel the world and write about it.  But what if that never happens?  I may never get to work for the Times or USA today.  Now, obviously these questions cannot be answered tonight.  But they lead to a bigger question concerning careers and time spent.  We do not have long on this earth, so should we devote what little time we have to making the world a better place?  I guess that depends on our perspective.  I know the only person judging my career path is myself, but naturally, I am my biggest critic.  At the end of the day I think it's most important to like what you did with that day.  Maybe my career will change some body's life or maybe it will just make someone think a little harder or get a laugh that day.  Either way I am a writer and writing will be my life's work. I can't imagine it any other way, so I guess there's my answer, right?

a fly on the wall

   Sometimes I feel as though I am living other people's lives.  Or even that I am a fixture in the lives of others. I'm Just an accessory to some extent. For example, right now I am basically living with an engaged couple.  I see their comings and goings.  I watch and hear them in passing but rarely communicate with them verbally.  It is so strange to not matter to the people that you live with.  I pay my rent on time and address them briefly. Essentially, it wouldn't make any difference to them if I was there or not. Thats the part that feels so weird.  I am also a nanny for a family with three little girls. I enjoy my job and I love the kids, but it can be a strange job sometimes.  I feel like a spy of sorts.  The kids say things they probably shouldn't repeat. Sometimes the parents complain about each other to me, talk about awkward.  Again, I'm a fixture.  I see their life and help them live it by taking care of their children and running their errands.  When I'm not at home or at work I crave being important.  Not just an extra in contrast to someone else's starring role. Someone in the background watching other people go about their daily lives.  I find myself just wanting to talk and be heard. It is written on our very beings to have the need to be important to people.  It's hard to realize the true nature of humanity until you are deprived of it.

   

seeing the world through red rimmed glasses

   I used to walk down the halls of my highschool and not know who I was waving at.  People would ask me why I didn't say hey to them that day.  It was all because I was too embarassed to wear my glasses.  I needed them to see but I didn't want to mess up my face or distract from my eyes.  Glasses have been percieved to be for smart, and/or nerdy people.  Back then I was not secure enough to admit to my nerdyness.  However, one day my freshman year of college I decided to finally wear my glasses.  It happened for a combination of different reasons.  First of all, I got sick of not seeing the world. Second, I wanted to be taken more seriously by people.  The number of catcalls has drastically reduced upon wearing glasses. I hate to say that they demand more respect, but they do.  Since then my glasses have become a part of my identity and an extension of who I am.  It is strange that there are stereotypes and feelings that go with things as small and as insignificant as glasses.  I know how I look with them on and I feel confident in my intelligence, not because of them alone, but maybe with the help of them.  

the few and far between